FEELING LOST IN LIFE? – 3 Steps to Getting Unstuck NOW. – Behaviors VS Intentions. – 035

Get unstuck, now – AUDIO NSFW

Have you ever gotten lost? Have you ever been lost in an unfamiliar place, in unfamiliar territory, an unfamiliar country? Have you ever had to ask for directions? That’s the topic of today’s discussion. You see? Today, early this morning I was out and about and a foreigner approached me. A foreigner approached me, I was down in Buckhead getting some early morning coffee guys and a foreigner approached me, someone on foot.

And this individual asked me, I think it was a French accent and I’m pretty sure it was a French accent, but the individual asked me he said,” I’m lost, help me find X. “ Now, he was with a…I’m gonna be a little honest here, but he was with a pretty young thing with him. He looked like he was in his early 30s or late 20s so maybe he’s a professional, successful man and he’s found himself a young thing and it brought them all the way here to Atlanta.

And lo and behold on this particular day on a morning drive that I had, I was at Starbucks and this man and his pretty young thing asked me for directions. You see? What was really–I gave him the answer, it wasn’t too hard. And then as I sat there and as I finished my coffee in my little parfait–my yogurt parfait, I allowed my mind to wander a bit.

I remembered quickly the times in which I was in different locations like Tokyo, Japan having lived there for three and a half years, having–had to learn how to ask in multiple different ways,“Where? Genki desuka? Where is it? Where are we going? All right? Where can I find these things?”I remember being lost in Paris, France when I was visiting there once. I had to ask questions about where to get to certain places. I remember when I was even lost in England. Thank God they speak English there.

I was lost in England and I had to ask for directions as well. Certainly when I lived in Korea. I had multiple times when I had to ask directions and asked how I could find stuff without feeling too embarrassed because being a Korean in Korea…I don’t know, it maybe it’s a cultural thing, a self-imposed thing but I always felt like I should have known. Like bro, you’re Korean, you should have known. You know, it’s interesting whenever you travel, I don’t know if you, guys have ever experienced this, but whenever you travel, we actually prepare ourselves especially if we’re going to a different country where we don’t know the language and we don’t know the culture and certainly, aren’t don’t know the cultural nuances and the kind of the aesthetics of that particular area that we’re going into. 

We actually prepare ourselves to be lost, right? We accept what we have done is. We have accepted and acknowledged that we’re going to be going into the unknown. When the first time that I’ve visit Russia, the first time I visited Ukraine, the first time I visited the Western and Eastern European countries. I mean, I–it was clear–I acknowledged that before I was gonna be going there. I was acknowledging the fact that I’m moving into the unknown. Acknowledged the fact that it’s—this is an adventure and then I will get lost at some point. And in some cases, I even, maybe you even, did this as well, but I even prepared in terms of learning some language or learning some phrases in the imminent, in the imminence that I was going to get lost and I was going to need to use these phrases to get unstuck.

You see? When it comes to knowing that we’re gonna get lost in a different country, we actually prepare for these things. We mentally prepare, well you might physically prepare,psychologically prepare and when we’re lost in these different areas, these different countries, what do we do? We did what my supposed French friend and his pretty young thing did this morning… at Starbucks down in Buckhead. They asked for directions, they asked for directions.

So let’s take this a little bit deeper. I had my notebook with me there and I jotted down a couple notes. And where my mind wandered from is not this whole idea of feeling lost in a location but feeling lost in life. Have you ever and here’s the real deeper question now that were five minutes in and staking me five minutes to get here, but have you ever felt lost in life?

Let me conjure up some ways. Maybe you just recently got over a breakup, a breakup in a relationship. Maybe a job loss, you were just fired or you are downsized or you were a redundant entity within your company. Maybe an accident came up. Maybe a life event or even a crisis in your life had just thrown you now into the unknown. You feel lost in life. You don’t know what’s going on and well, why are you lost? Because, suddenly, in a moment in time, you had just woken up. And you had felt, track with me here guys, you had felt at that moment that you were going in the wrong direction, right? 

You just had a recent breakup, you just had a job loss, an accident, a life event, a crisis or something that just happened in your life that has thrown you now into the world of the unknown and you have become quickened. You are now alive, you are now awake and you have realized, there’s a feeling in you that you have realized that you are going in the wrong direction. 

And you know, the funny thing is when you discover you’re lost, you’ve already been lost, for a while. Let that sink in. When it comes to the context of life and feeling lost in life, whenever you discover you’ve been lost, it means that you’ve actually been lost for a while. I mean, isn’t this the truth? 

Example in Paris, when I was going in Paris. I remember taking this right down this alleyway, it looked like the right way, it looked like the thing I was supposed to do I end up walking down there. I walked 200-300 meters, took a left or took a right and started taking another couple of turns and lo and behold, before I knew it I was easily six or seven turns, into my–into this unknown. And it was only at that time finally, when my ego finally caught up with my lack of ego caught up to me, and I finally said, you know what? It maybe it’s time to bust out that French book. And find those notes and asks someone who seems like they’re not going to be angry with me and asked them how can I find X Y & Z. 

You see, the funny thing is again, when you discover you’re lost, well you’ve been lost for a while. And this means that you have been lost before you knew you were lost. You were lost before you knew you were actually really lost. And what was fascinating to me, what is fascinating to me and I’m gonna use this in both context, subtract with me here.

What is so fascinating to me, and I’m just gonna speak as a man here, okay? A man, not even a man, I’m just gonna speak as me, Peter, Peter, okay? Whatever I found that I have gotten lost, let’s just say from a geographic location, like geographic context, like lost in Paris or lost in England or Korea, Tokyo or all the other various places that I visited. Whenever I’m lost, it isn’t it fascinating? Isn’t it fascinating that we tend to go faster when we are lost? It’s like, okay I’m lost now. Okay I got a make-up time. Okay like, I don’t know if this is a right turn. We’re just gonna take this turn, okay. I’m gonna go down this road oh man, this totally wasn’t the right time. Let’s take a left, let’s backtrack. Like, things start moving faster. 

And this is so much, this is so very much the truth when it comes to life as well. Is it not? Is that, when you finally discover that you’ve been lost, you have been already been lost for a while and you have been lost before you even knew it and in the slow realization of knowing that you are lost, you and picking up the pace.

You–the emotions arise, you end up creating emotional decisions,you move faster than you need to, you take on the advice of others, you take on the quickest solution at that point, the quickest answer you can get. Is it right or left? I don’t care, just tell me right or left? Someone says left, you take that answer, you go with it. But here’s the problem, let’s pump the brakes. When it comes to feeling lost in life. When we are lost in life, we don’t ask for solutions no one ever asks for solutions but what we end up finding in the emotionality of realizing that we are lost, we end up taking solutions.

Let me give you a very simple example from being geographically lost. When you’re geographically lost in a city, you don’t ask for solutions. You know, you don’t go up to someone and say, what you do is you go up to someone and say how can I, let’s say, we’re in New York City, you’re a foreigner in New York City, you say, “how can I find the Empire State Building?” All right? Give me directions to the Empire State Building, right? You’re not asking for the answer to your troubles. 

You’re not asking for a solution to life’s biggest problems. You’re lost, you need to find someone give me directions. A direction to head, the right direction ahead. That’s what you really want. But yet, when we are–when we get emotionally enrapt, when we get emotionally crazy by feeling lost in life, we start clinging to quick answers, quick solutions, but we don’t need any of that. What we really need is, we needed to ask for a new direction. Show me, tell me. There’s a place that I wanted to go. There was an expectation that needed to be met. There was a–they think–there’s a goal that I wanted to have. See? That’s when it comes to being lost in life, is that there was a goal, an expectation, an end result that you had in mind and it disappeared, because of a breakup or a job loss or an accident or a life eventor a crisis, right?

When it comes to the direction of life, when it comes the not being lost in life, in the directions of life, we want successful relationships no one wants ruined relationships, right? We had an expectation that this relationship was born to go the right way. And then on Tuesday she said she wanted no more. On Thursday he said, “You know what, we just want to be friends”, things changed, the expectation has been destroyed. You are now lost, right? No one goes into a marriage saying “I know this marriage is gonna be shitty”, no.

We have an expectation that the marriage is gonna go well, right? But when the marriage dissolves, and let’s be honest guys, marriages don’t dissolve overnight. Having a–my master’s in counselling, I can tell you, going through my clinicals to finish my master’s in counselling, I’ll tell you, marriages do not dissolve, relationships do not dissolve overnight. Sometimes they take 20 years to dissolve and you have been lost. Some of them have been lost for 10, 15, 20 years. And the expectation, the grand expectations 40 years ago when they got married is nowhere near what the reality is today, right?

When you’re feeling lost in life it’s because you had a job opportunity, you had expectations for the job success, you had an entire scenario played out that you were gonna get this job it was gonna get you to X and then you’re gonna go to Y and then you’re getting to promote it to Z, right? But now that they fired you. They let you go, they let you down, promises weren’t kept.

You are now lost because the expectation of that future is no longer viable. What about that business idea, that start-up idea, right? It was great, everything was great, you got funded, you got a great team, the product is on target but then suddenly the market shifts. Consumer appetites change, the environment of funding dries up. And now, you are lost. You don’t need solutions. There are no solutions to the business idea that’s failed. You need a new direction, you see?

We don’t have problems to be fixed when we are lost in life, please, don’t forget what I’m about to say, we don’t have problems to be fixed in life when you are lost. You can’t be fixed in life when you are lost in life, you know why? Because unlike directions when you’re stuck in a city that you don’t know, there’s very little consequences to being–to finding the right directions or asking for directions and getting back on the right path.

You break down your ego you ask “donde esta el baño?” or whatever and someone gives you the directions and you head in the right direction. But when it comes to being lost in life guys, there’s no problems to be fixed. The expectations of that successful relationship, gone. The expectations of that successful marriage, gone. The expectations of that the job that you were hanging and everything on, gone. The expectations of that business project, that new start-up, that new hustle that you thought was gonna change your life, gone.

You don’t have a problem to be fixed now because it’s gone, okay? Frankly, you can’t be fixed. Why? Because you can’t unplug and start over. You bring all of your failings, all of your life, you bring all of your baggage with you. Whenever you are lost in life, you will bring you, with you. And so man, you say, “well, Peter, wow, all these thoughts…” yes, see my notes here? “…all these thoughts came from you–from a random assumed French man with his beautiful little Belle there, asking you for directions early this morning at Starbucks? “ Absolutely, absolutely.

But I don’t want this to be a depressing thing because I know, in my life, I have felt lost when things haven’t gone my way. I have felt lost when that opportunity falls through. I felt lost when suddenly I’m hit by a ton of bricks on this–on the side on myfucking face and I have to wake up the next day I realize holy shit nothing’s the same, everything’s changed around me but the problem is, I don’t have a solution and the problem is I still have to deal with me.

The situation and the world has changed, the market has changed, the business has changed the relationship has changed, all that stuff has changed. But I’m waking up with me and I have to deal with me. I can’t unplug, I can’t pull out the cartridge of the Nintendo and blow on it. I can’t do that, you can’t reset life.

You always bring you, with you. So what is the solution? Whatat is the solution when you are feeling lost in life? I’ll give it to you. You just need to change direction. And then, you’ll begin to change. Let me repeat that, you just need to change direction and you will begin to change. Please don’t miss this guys. Please don’t miss what I’m about to say it’s noteworthy, it’s worth writing down. Wherever you are write this, here it goes. Your current behaviour, your current behaviour is a better indicator of the future than your intentions.

I wrote this down, I asked your exit please, when I repeat this, your current existing behaviour, your current behaviour today is a better indicator of the future, then your intentions. The road is paved with good fuckingintentions. You knowwhat? I intended to have a in a McLaren P1 by now, a two million dollar car. I intended to have that. You know, sigh, you know as I intended to have? I intended to have… a G6 airplane. You know, I know,honest I intended to have? I intended to have nine kids. I intended to be. Fuck.  The road is paved with good intentions but in good intentions never get you anywhere.

You’re a current, please don’t miss this, your current behaviour today is a greater indicator of the future than your intentions. You just need to change direction. What’s at the fence? What is that really a fancy way of saying? Number one, number one, three things real quick. What behaviours are contributing to your feeling of being lost in life? Number one, what behaviours are contributing to your feeling of being lost in life? Are you fat as fuck? Are you eating shit? Is your body fuckedup? Guess what, your current behaviour of eating shit, not sleeping right, not going working out, not even the right food, is a better indicator of yourfucked up direction, your fuckedup future, your fuckedbody… than your intentions. 

I find it so fascinating, I find it so fascinating. Thetension between humans when it comes to current behaviour and their intentions. Motherfuckers are always talking about,“hey I want to do X. I wanna do Y. “then why is nothing in your lifethat I see moving you in the direction of what you wanna do? What you want to be, what you want to do. It’s the whole same is with dating. Like,I want to find the perfect man. I want to find the perfect… you do? Well then, why don’t you prepare to be the perfect man or the perfect woman that’s the other person’s looking for?

Because, you as fat as fuck. You is nasty. You’re not ready for the perfect man. And frankly, the perfect man, the perfect woman, they won’t want you. They don’t want you. Because, you’re not living a life. Didn’t–hey when you say that you’re looking for the perfect woman, perfect man and guess what, they’re looking for? The same thing. A perfect man,a perfect woman and you ain’t it. Because you ain’t doingshit to prepare yourself to be that man, be that perfect woman.

What behaviours are–a number one–what behaviours are contributing to your feeling of feeling lost in life? You have bad–you want to get a new job? You want to get a new career, then what of your behaviours are contributing to your feeling that’s stuck in that job? Well I talk about people want to be debt-free, you want to be financially free, oh, okay, why did you buy that brand new BMW? At five hundred and twelve dollars per month. What thefuck is wrong with you?

You want to be debt-free, you want financially free, why are you doing stupid shit? Your current behaviour is a better indicator of your future than your intentions, oh god, oh my. Now I intend to be debt-free, I wanna intend to have a great job, I want to intend to have a great start-up on, intend to have a great body, I want to contend down lots of money. Okay, great. I intend to have all those two. But guess, what I’m actually doing something about it. So number one, what behaviours are contributing to your feeling of being lost?

Number two, we’re not looking for solutions here. There is no the solutions, there are no solutions. There’s only a new direction, which means a new behaviour. Pick one behaviour today. Number two, pick one behaviour today. What are you gonna change? You wanna get healthy? Then fuckingstop smoking, stop vapin’, stop smoking that weed, you don’t need it. You don’t need it.

You’re gonna let sit on your deathbed and be like, damn I wish I’d smoke more cigarettes, damn I wish I drank more, damn I wish I smoked more of that visiting bud that wizardy weed. Come on. There are no solutions to your life, there’s only new directions, i.e., new behaviours. Pick a behaviour today, change it. And number three, you start today, your behaviour. If you–if you’re writing notes down, your behaviour determines your direction, your behaviour determines your direction, let me say it again, your behaviour determines your direction.

I can tell you, as an ex-smoker, lord have mercy, thank you Jesus, that I no longer smoke cigarettes. That was a decade in the making. I quit a thousand times, easily. And will admit it to you, to that day is long, I was addicted to smoking. But you know what? I quit. And you know what it took? It took exactly everything I’m talking about here. I was feeling lost. Nothing like the whole big medicines but I was feeling lost, I was tired of the addiction. I was tired of the tingles, I was tired of the waking up with a sore throat, I was tired of the morning coughs, I was tired of the mid-afternoon coughs, I was tired of the late-night cough, I was tired of all of it.

And I just got fed up. And so I woke up one day and I said, “I’m just not gonna start the day with the cigarette”. I changed the one behaviour, was it hard? Hell as yeah, it was. But did I stick to it? Hell as yeah, it was. Do I have a triumphant story that I can tell you right now? Hell yeah. I do am I proud of it? Hell fucking yeah. Do I mind telling my kids that I used to smoke and I quit? No. Do I hope that they never pick up smoking? Absolutely. But I will never, never, never, play down how hard it was for me to change that one behaviour.

It’s what I needed to conquer in my life. I needed to do it but I had to start. And look at me guys, not even close to perfect. It’s over 10 years to quit that shit and I don’t even tell you how long I smoked. More than 10 years, that’s for sure. Guys, have you ever felt lost? Have you ever felt lost in life? That’s natural. We break up with people, we feel lost. Jobs get changed, we feel lost. Accidents happen, we feel along. Life events happen, we feel lost.

Crisis seized in our life, put us into a position of feeling lost. Welcome to the show, welcome to the game of life. But remember the answers you seek, while there are no answers, when you’re lost,there’s only a new direction. And the only way, the only way to get unstuck, to get unlost is to go a new direction. And what that means is to change a simple behaviour. So tell me, are you lost? What behaviours do you need to change?

This is Peter, the Bitcoin Lambo. If you enjoyed this episode, subscribe, smash the like button and share this with someone in your network. We also do podcasts so check us out on iTunes, Google Play on all the fun stuff. See you guys later.