5 WAYS to BOOST SELF-CONFIDENCE | Giving Away Self-Esteem Gets You MORE BACK! – 030

Have an attitude of positivity. – AUDIO NSFW

So here’s a question for you, guys. A question for you guys is would you or do you consider me to be a positive individual? Do you consider me to be a positive, self-confident, high self-esteemed individual? I don’t know. It’s not like I can read your brain right now but I will tell you this, I struggle just like everybody else withself-confidence and self-esteem. I really do. Which is why we’re gonna talk about it today. 

I took a lot of notes here guys and I have five things on both sides of this equation that I want to discuss. The whole idea that I want to convey here-and this is really the kind of the crux and the foundation of today’s podcast, is that the more self-esteem, the more self confidence that you have in yourself and the more that you give that to others the more you get back to crush your own dreams, to crush it, to go for it, to do it. 

The more self-confidence, the more self-esteem that you give to others, the more you get in return. And I think for many of you guys out there listening you already know this. That when you pump other people up, when you excite them, when you inspire them, when you encourage them to do amazing things with their lives, they in turn return back tenfold, a hundredfold that excitement, that energy. 

This is one of the things where I am ridiculously selfish in life about. I’m ridiculously selfish about this. I love pumping people up. I love inspiring people. I love encouraging them to crush their dreams. Go for it. Go big-time. Shoot for the moon. The reason I’m ridiculously selfish about encouraging others to do amazing things is because I get it back tenfold, twentyfold, a hundred fold. 

You see? I have truly found guys that the more self-esteem, the more self-confidence that you give to others you get it back. You get even more back. It is amazing! I will say. It is amazing how many people I meet do not fucking value themselves. They have so much low self-esteem, such lack of self-confidence, it’s crazy. 

I can’t tell you how many times I have had conversations with my wife later in the day after meeting an individual, or going to some sort of event, or we met individual, and I’ll turn to my wife later and I say, man, that guy, that gal, whoever it was,they have zero self-confidence. This guy, this gal is just a wreck.

I know at least a couple of times I’ve had that conversation with my wife. It’s disparaging. It’s too bad. And so how does this happen? How does it come to pass that an individual has really low self-esteem or really low self-confidence? 

Well, I’m gonna give it to you and it’s gonna sound harsh. But guys, this is what I believe to be is the reality. If you are an individual or you know a person who has low self-confidence, low self-esteem, it’s because your parents fucked you. 

It’s your parents fault or it’s a disapproving authority figure in your life. It was somebody in early in your life inauthority figure at some level often 99% of the time, your parents who fucked you, okay? You can go and press pause on this podcast, go forgive your parents, say, “Parents, mom, dad? You fucked me! You are a disapproving authority figure and you didn’t’ have to be—and you said something many years ago and you fucked me. I forgive you.” And then after you forgive them you can come back and press play. 

One of the reasons why all we have is probably big issues with self-esteem as other people is because I didn’t have any authority figures. My parents thoroughly fucked me in many ways and they fucked me in the way of not having authority figures. This negativity, this self-worth issues stem from something in the past whether it’s a parent or it’s an authority figure. It don’t matter. 

Somebody fucked you and you feel shitty about yourself. I’m gonna give you five things and these are the five things that I wrote down that I had gone through before in my Master’s and counselling degree. Some of you guys don’t remember that. But I do have a Master’s—my second Master’s in counselling and I focused on organizational behaviour. And five things that I wrote down that came up from my memory when it came to a negativity and self-worth issues. Let’s just go through them briefly. 

5 WAYS TO BOOST SELF-CONFIDENCE

1. Surround yourself with positive people. 

I find it ridiculous that people today have friends that they are willing to stay with and these friends are so fucking negative. Why would you stay around a negative person? You guys have listened to my podcast on reprogramming pain, reprogramming success, reprogramming your life to success. If you haven’t watched them, go watched them right now. 

Why would you ever want an individual in your life who every time that you hang out with them they are programming into you negativity that makes no sense? Remove that individual. 

1. Get to yourself. 

Go look up my podcast on solitude, on learning to be alone, get to know yourself. You ain’t that great and frankly, you ain’t that bad either. You’re just human. You’re hooman. You’re like us. You got flaws. You got scars. You got fucked up in the past but that’s the past. By the way, reminder, go listen to Reprogramming The Past if you have issues in your past. But get to know yourself, sit down, understand, sit in quiet, solitude, collect yourself, know thy self. 

1. Acknowledge your strengths and your weaknesses.

Acknowledge what you’re good at and what you’re bad at. Acknowledge it. What are you great at? What is something that brings you alive? What is something that you do exceptionally better than the average Joe? What are the things that you’re weak at that give you pain, that give you pause? Maybe these are areas which you shouldn’t be endeavouring in because you’re weak in these areas. We’re gonna talk about that in a little bit. 

1. Don’t compare. 

If you have negative self-worth issues don’t compare yourself with anybody else, especially on the internet. I’m gonna say this once, I’m probably gonna say it several times during this podcast but I’ll say it once right now. The internet isn’t real. Yeah, the people on the other side of that social application might be real but they ain’t real to you. You just see a digital apparition of them. You see a digital version of them. They ain’t real to your current reality—your tangible reality now where you’re sitting, where you’re standing, wherever you are, they ain’t real. 

Stop comparing yourself to shit that ain’t real. None of that fucking matters. It’s so fascinating to me how many people get caught up in these comparison games and they’ll tell you to your face they’re not comparing themselves but they are because those other people, those other entities, those other individuals, other individual’s success are in the context of your decision-making. 

That’s your problem, why are you holding on to that shit, bro? You don’t need to worry about anybody else but yourself. 

1. Attitude of positivity. 

Wake up in the morning shit ain’t that bad. You’re alive, bro! You’re alive, sister! You might have gut issues. You might have health issues because you fat as fuck and you haven’t disciplined yourself to a good lifestyle but you’re still alive. 

You don’t like the shitty job that you pigeonholed yourself into, but you know what? That was the decision you made 12 years ago and you need to deal with it. Maybe this is the time for you to get out of that situation and try something different. 

A lot of reasons why I do these stuff is self-preaching. I just sermon to myself, guys. 

So these are five things. If you have negativity or self-worth issues, guys:

1. Surround yourself with positive people. 
2. Get to know yourself, spend some time with yourself. 
3. Acknowledge your strengths and your weaknesses. What are you good at? What are you bad at? 
4. Don’t fucking compare to internet bullshit. 
5. Have an attitude of gratitude, have an attitude of positivity. Practice that. 

Let me give you five simple ways. Let’s move right into it guys because I don’t wanna make this too long but I wanna make this applicable as this came to me today. Remember the context of this is that the more self-esteem, the more self-confidence you give to others—and this is something that’s easy for me and it’s natural for me because I love talking. Look at me now! I’m making this video for free! Ain’t nobody getting get paid here and I wanna do it because I want you guys to level up. I want you guys to succeed. 

The more that you give to others, the more this self-confidence, self-esteem that you give to others more you get back.  So here’s five simple ways to improve your self-esteem. Five simple ways to boost your self-confidence. Five simple ways to get back more as you give. 

5 SIMPLE WAYS TO BOOST YOUR SELF-CONFIDENCE

1. Smile.

Smile motherfucker! Smile. I will tell you, this was my number one. You know why? Because I struggle with it so bad. I have what you call resting bitch face. My wife tells me that. I know I have it. You get me reading something? This is what I look like when I read.

You get me thinking about something in public, you get me thinking about something in public, I look like I’m pissed off all the time. They’ll look at me say, “Appa are you mad? Appa are you mad?” No, I’m not mad. I’m just thinking. Fucking smile! Practice smiling! Like I have to! This is crazy. I got mirrors here. I got two mirrors there. I got mirrors over there and I’m looking myself right here. 

I have mirrors not so I can look at my ugly sweaty stank ass, I have mirrors so I can see myself smile. I have mirrors to practice my smile. I have to do it. Because it is so natural for me to look like a curmudgeon. I have to practice and intentionally engage my smile muscles before I communicate, during communication, and after communication. And then once I’m after communication, then I could literally be like, “I’m done, could I just go?”

Now, this might seem like a chore. But guys, I’ll tell you, a smile? Let’s be honest. A smile is fucking contagious! One of the things that I have to do almost every morning–and you guys know I work out every morning, is I have to force myself to smile with the people in the gym. I don’t wanna be there that early. I don’t want to be sweating my ass off, tearing my muscles at 6:30. Who does this? 

But I will tell you, that smile, forcing myself to smile and say, “Good morning, Jim. Good morning, Ricky.” To be honest, even though I’m forcing myself to smile and grit through my teeth. It makes my workout better. It makes my day, but it even makes the random events of the day that I have to do, they make them better.

Because sometimes I remember, sometimes I’m so cognizant and so aware of myself that before I open up that door—the next door, before I’d go into that location before, like I’ll literally go like, smile. Smile, you stink ass. Smile please! 

Let me tell you a story. I know a guy. I went to college down a Flor State for a little while, but I used to come up to Georgia Tech and Georgia all the time, and there was a guy that we used to go hunting with when we’re up here, but this motherfucker never smiled. 

And I never could understand. I could never understand why this guy literally never smiled. It’s because he had bad teeth? Did he have bad breath? Did he just had a weird bite system? When he talked, he talked through his lips. You know I’m talking about? It is almost to ensure that you almost never saw the glint of teeth. 

And this guy never smiled, but I’ll tell you, guys. Some of the most hardy laughs, some of the most belly shaking, hardy, like, roll on the fucking ground laughs is when we got this guy—I’m not gonna tell you his name—to smile. I know he’s listeningto this shit so I’m not going to. When we get this guy to smile, like, it’s just seeing his teeth, those Chiclets-ass teeth made my day.

Smile, guys. It boosts your self-esteem. It boosts your self-confidence. Smile before you talk. Trust me, if you smile before you engage with someone, it fundamentally changes the trajectory and narrative of whatever you’re about to say. 

Think about this, let’s say you’re about to talk to your boss, before you say the first word, you frown. Now, think about your boss, think about right before you say the first word to your boss in the morning, you just tickled yourself by doing something stupid and you’re coming out of some sort of laughter and a smile, and you look at your boss and you say good morning with this like half smirk, half smile and he’s looking back and he’s like, “What’s going on?” Does that not change the entire trajectory of that conversation? Is that conversation not going to be a thousand times better just because you cracked a smile? Practice it today, guys. I promise you, it works.

1. Give to others.

Open a door, give compliments, and practice positive actions. Practice positive actions. It’s the whole idea around practicing fucking smiling.  Practice positive action. You got a wife? You got a girlfriend? You got a boyfriend? Awesome! Practice giving to them. Practice appreciation to them.

I promise, you it’ll make you better. It’ll make you a better person. It’ll make you a better boyfriend. It’ll make you a better girlfriend. It’ll make you better spouse, husband, wife. It’ll make you whatever you want to be.

Trust me, when you give to others and you practice positive actions, practice appreciation, you become a better person and your self-esteem grows. You know why? Because people love other people giving them positive reinforcement. 

1. Focus on your strengths.

If you’re having issues with self-esteem and self-confidence, understand your strengths and your weaknesses. But when it comes to boosting your self-esteem, focus on your strengths. The world is so backwards, the world is so backwards when it comes to strengths and weaknesses.

There was a poll done years ago and the poll went something like this. It was a poll from two parents of children who were in let’s just say middle school or elementary school. And the poll went out to the parents and the poll went something like this, “Your kid gets an A in Math, an A in Social Studies,an A in History, an A in English, an A in Gym and a D in Science.“ Where should you focus? 

I forget the number but oh something like 98% of all parents said that their child should focus on the D, the negative.Why? Why would you do that? That’s fucking stupid! There is a distinct reason why he’s got an A on all these others and a D in this. Probably it’s his weakest subject. It’s probably because he or she’s not interested. Probably there could be a multiplicity of reasons, but I can tell you something for a fact, it’s certainly aint his strength.

There’s no way it’s her strength if she got an A in Math, A in all these other things, but got a D in Science. It ain’t her strength. Because if it was, she getting A because it was easy. 

Don’t focus on those weaknesses. They’re always going to be weak. Let me be abundantly clear if you’re taking notes. Your weakness will always be weaker than your natural strengths. Your weaknesses will always be weaker than your natural strengths. Your natural inborn strength will always be your strength. It’ll be your greatest strength.

Leverage it, focus it. That’s where money can be made. That’s where business can be made. That’s where success is found. Success is never founded your weaknesses. Success is found in your strengths. 

You can use any sports analogy. The best players in their sport they choose a specific role to play. 

A quarterback, good at quarterback? Not going to be a running back today. Not gonna be a whatever. You’re in basketball, you’re forwards. Probably always gonna be a forward. Not gonna be playing point guard next game. 

Focus on your strengths. The world is so backwards when it tells you to focus on weakness. Why would you focus on weaknesses? I never focus on my weaknesses because they’re weak. I improve my strengths. Because that’s where money is made. That’s where success is. 

Fuck your weaknesses! Accept your weaknesses! Accept them. Accept disapproval of being weak in those areas. Fuck people! Fuck people when they say you’re weak at it. Great! You’re right, I’m weak. Excellent! It’s a good thing I don’t focus on it. It’s a good thing I do what I’m good at because I only have 100 years or less and there’s no point in being average and mediocre at everything. Thereby being good at actually nothing. 

Focus on your strengths.

1. Remove bullshit.

Let me be even just ridiculously specific here. Remove social applications from your fucking phone, remove them. I’m going through that now. I actually have to go through that purge probably twice a year because with the problem with social applications is they crop up. It’s only an additive thing, right? 

You only add more stuff. Delete that shit. Delete those time bandits. These apps are social time bandits. You don’t need those likes. None of it is real! Nobody clicking on likes. Those hearts, those thumbs ups aren’t fucking real! Delete that shit. You don’t need it! It’s a time bandit. It’s a distraction. 

What about other behaviour patterns of waste? What about removing bad relationships? Get rid of bad relationships, please. Lord have mercy. You guys have hundred years if you’re lucky. Why are you gonna waste any years on bad relationships of negative juju? Don’t do it guys. 

Remove the bullshit, remove the apps, the social apps, remove the behavior patterns of waste, remove the time bands that steal from you, your youth, your passions. Fuck it! I think some of you guys need to listen online removing relationships podcasts, go way back, find it. 

1. Set goals and work towards them.

Set goals and work towards them. You to boost your self-esteem? How about getting some wins under your belt? How about getting some wins on your belt that only you could have achieved. Only through your hard work, only through your sweat and blood, only through your effort were you able to achieve and win. 

Set those goals, achieve them. It is the achievement process that grows confidence in self. It is the achievement process that grows self-esteem and self-worth and self value because you realize:

1. What you’re made of. 
2. What you can overcome.
3. Your mind has now been opened to the potential possibilities of what else you could do.

You see, we never truly understand what we’re made of or what we’re capable of until we prove to ourselves that we can fucking do it. Now once we can do it, that’s when the world better watch out. Because you’ve just been unleashed, now is the time. 

Set goals, achieve them, work towards them, say no more than you say yes and then achieving those goals will build you up.

Practice positive communication, practice positivity. That’s one of the best ways to get over or improve your self confidence is practice with others. You know what it really is guys? It’s self-programming. It’s self-programming yourself to boost your self-confidence.  Self-programming to boost your self-esteem.  Program it, do it. 

Let’s review it real quick. When it comes to self-esteem and self-confidence guys, let me be abundantly clear as we roll ourselves out of it. When it comes to more self esteem and self confidence the more that you give others, the more you get back. This is something that you should be striving for. How can I get as much positive feedback,as much self-esteem, as much self-confidence as I possibly can back from people? This is why it’s easy for me. 

You guys know this, some of you do, many of you don’t. But for those that do, you guys know this, this is why it’s so easy for me to engage with someone one-on-one quickly and immediately begin encouraging them to do something awesome.You know why? Not only is it a natural thing for me but I know that I’m gonna get back even more good juju. New ideas will emerge, exciting things will happen, and I’ll come out of that conversation going, “Wow, I hope that guy does soar. I hope that girl does something amazing.” But I know that what I got out of it it’s gonna help me do X, Y and Z. 

Call me selfish, guys. Call me selfish. But when you have more self-esteem and self-confidence and you give it to others you get even more in return. 

Smile, give positive actions to others, practice appreciation, focus on your strengths, remove bullshit and make those goals, and start working toward them. 

The process of achievement is how you increase your self-esteem. So tell me guys, in the comments below if you want what self-esteem and what self-confidence do you need to improve today? Oh, I’m supposed to practice smiling. 

This is Peter Saddington. This is Peter, the Bitcoin Lambo. If you appreciated this episode, smash the like button, share it guys far in live with someone in your network and subscribe. And if you have a great comment maybe I’ll pin it.