“Forgive first. Discuss second.” – AUDIO NSFW
So many of you guys know that I am a voracious reader and I spend a lot of time in the early morning as well as late at night reading and gathering information on what’s going on with the world. So that I as an entrepreneur and a start-up dude can make informed decisions about what the market is doing. I’ve read an article and I just had to write all these notes down because it came to me like a bolt of lightning and I wanted to share it with you guys.
The idea that I want to talk with you guys about is unity and this small idea of being open to everyone, not showing favouritism, not picking sides, being unified as much as possible. Now, I know what you might be thinking. You might be thinking well in the world today, there is no unity. Yes, that makes a lot of sense if all you are doing is consuming mainstream media, If all you’re doing is consuming mainstream media, then you will assume, you will create mental models, you will create worldviews that make you think that the world is at war, the world is burning, the world is dying, everyone’s hating on. Guys, it’s not the truth. None of that is the truth.
The thing I want to talk to you guys about is seeking to be unified, not to divide. There’s too much of that in the world. There’s too many people picking sides, picking favorites, being criticized for their favorites, being just torn to shreds because they have some semblance of some side that they associate with. Fuck the sides! Why can’t we work together?
The idea that I want to talk about is seeking to unify, be unified, have a worldview of inclusivity, have a worldview where there is no favouritism, have a where we I look at my brother, I look at my sister and I say man, you’re my brother, you’re my sister, we’re in this together. If you want to go meta, if there’s anything that we should be finding, it should be the dysfunctional system. But even then, I don’t even know anymore whether that is a worthwhile endeavor to try to fight the system as opposed to just living a quiet and peaceful life, dare I say it, on the outskirts of the system.
Humility unites. Pride divides. Whenever I turn on mainstream media, whenever I see it in a store, a shop, the airports mostly is where I mostly watch the mainstream media, all I see is disunity. All I see is prideful people dividing the world. What’s the agenda? Why? What’s the agenda? Why does the world want to divide everyone from each other? Whenever we get into these things, our pride is dividing people. What happens? We lose our patience. We lose our juju. We get angry. Our families, our communities, our nation’s become divided. No one wins here and everyone burns.
When we have these battles, most of them are in the mind. Whenever we have these battles of division, we build walls, we ruin connection, we ruin communication, we ruin intimacy, we ruin teamwork and trust, we ruin the peace and contentment.
My desire for you, maybe you didn’t know this listener, if you’re listening on iTunes or Google Play, but one of my goals and one of my hopes for you listener is that you will live a life of peace but you will also live a life of intention, a life worth living, having goals and having visions that are worth striving for, maybe even just maybe even dying for. The only way that you’re going to be able to achieve a life of peace or the goals that you want to achieve is having a life or a worldview of unification, seeking to unify, not divide.
Division is one of the most insidious tactics. Division is one of the most insidious tactics of the devil. Do you know why? Because division creates worry and fear. That’s the goal of division. Worry and fear—is this not true—that our mainstream media propaganda arms today? Magazines, newspapers, and TV, guys, all three of those are meant to do one thing and they do it so effectively well. It’s to create division, to force you into a side whether you want to be on a side or not.
If you have any particularly leaning, in any particular way they will immediately put you on a side and the problem with being on that side is that there is an enemy, a supposed enemy, some sort of other team, other group, other people group, other culture, other nation that we have to go to. Why do we have to fight that way?
When people, see each other as the enemy, the real enemy, the real enemy has won. The Prince of the Air, this devil of the world has won because we’ve been deceived. Have we not? We’ve been deceived thinking that we cannot work together and we need to fight it out. Golly, I could tell you guys, regrets. I have regrets. I hate admitting it, but I have regrets. I think a lot of people say I live with no regrets. Bullshit. Give that brother two pints of beer and a shot of Jager and trust me, I bet I can get him talking about a regret that he has had in the past if you get to thinking about it.
I can tell you regrets. Most of them have to do with business, obviously business and relationships. Regrets of being deceived, being deceived, that thinking that we can’t work together, that we can’t make this right, letting our emotions battle us, let our emotions take over. We all know that when you’re highly emotional, you make your best decisions, right? (Sarcastic laugh)
There’s a great quote that I love to sometimes remember. I don’t remember as much as I’d like, but it says “Forgive first. Discuss second.” If only, if only I take in my own advice in business dealings in the past, relationships of the past, where I wish I have just forgiven first. Forgiving first and discussed next.
I don’t want to be deceived and I don’t want you to be deceived. Your neighbor is not against you. Your neighbor is not against you. The system is not against you. Those people are not against you. That culture is not against you. That nation is not against you. No one cares about you. If you need a reminder of that, please go back to my podcast on No One Is Thinking About You, like literally, no one cares about you and no one is thinking about you. You have no enemies. You don’t need to think with a worldview of division.
Please, instill in yourself a worldview of unity. How can we come together to work together instead of fighting it out? It is in an irrational and irresponsible worldview to have, to think that there are other sides, that there’s winners and there’s losers. It creates anger. What does anger do exceptionally well? It drives division.
One of the biggest things that I wrote down and one things I despise the most about a divided nation, a divided worldview is that whenever there’s division it creates an obsession to win. I get it. You guys know I’m all about winning—personal winning. I’m all about personal winning, growing yourself, making yourself awesome, making your life awesome, making those around you awesome. Win! Fucking crush it, but not at the expense of others.
With this type of worldview division, it creates an obsession to win. And the problem is that we want to win with no consideration to the outcome. The world will burn around us. There has to be a loser here. Division is, in my opinion, the fruit of pride. It’s pride that can’t let go. It leads to unreasonable demands, irrational speak.
I cannot believe how many times I have been in conversations at the executive level, in boardrooms, in major meetings. When I’ve seen pride rise up and suddenly its management against management, its executives against executives. There’s some sort of pride there. You have to win. What creates this division that is the fruit of pride. It leads to unreasonable demands.
This is like a plot of all the movies. Any movie that you have seen, the reason why the bad guy fails is because of an unreasonable demand and a pride that won’t let go. This division creates losers all the time and lasting regrets. Have I not talked about that enough previously? There are lasting regrets because of me, because of my pride, not because of what the other individual did, not because of what the situation was. It was because I couldn’t let go. I couldn’t get past my own pride. It created division between me and that other individual. That’s why I lost out in that.
What do I want to talk to you guys about today? Be men, be women who unite around humility. Seek to understand. Seek for mutual wins. That’s what life should be all about. I love the whole idea of a rising tide rises all boats. If I can help the tide rise, then everybody wins. There’s no losers here.
Unite around humility. Seek to understand. Seek mutual wins wherever you can. Don’t have a worldview of favouritism. I don’t know why this idea keeps creeping into my mind, but maybe it was because of the article used the word of favouritism. I despise the idea of favouritism. It stems naturally I know from a lot of cultural nuance. I’m Asian. I’m Korean, guys. Koreans have favouritism. Everyone has favouritism.
The problem with any type of favouritism, if I can just say this quickly, is that whenever there’s any type of favouritism, there’s some sort of implicit understanding or implicit idea that one individual, one culture is greater than the other. That’s bullshit. That’s complete bullshit.
Unite around humility. Don’t unite around division. Seek to unify the world and those around you. You’ll live a better life. You’ll live in peace. That’s like if I could say anything, man, living in peace is one of the greatest things that you can do. Living in peace. I wish I lived in better peace maybe I need to work on that.
What are the true enemies here? What are the true enemies of a nation divided, of a worldview divided? The true enemies are pride, fear, selfishness. That’s just a little slice of hell on earth when you have pride, fear, and selfishness. Forgive first. Discuss second. Unity requires that we try to think the best of one another. I know this is a hard idea, but let me give you an example from my experience in the counselling world.
As part of my clinicals to receive my master’s degree in counselling, I had to do six months of clinical work being a counselor to people in the world. I found something very unique when it came specifically to marriage counselling. I hope this will be beneficial to you, if you are in a relationship or even think about a relationship.
One of the advices that I used to give—I don’t give it that much anymore because no one asked me about marital advices. That’s okay. That’s good. You shouldn’t ask me for marital advice because I don’t really have any. But if you were asked me for any type of marital advice, it would be simply this. Assume the best in your spouse. Assume the best in your partner.
You see, assuming the best in the other individual immediately puts you in a different state, a different frame of thinking. You’re beginning to obviously and for those of you guys who can see the meta here, it’s programming yourself. It’s programming yourself to think positively about that individual. To assume the best in that individual. To assume that they might not have all the information and they might have made a poor decision because of lack of information. They might have said something that was not fully complete or not the full truth about the situation because they can’t see it all.
Assume the best. Assume that their intentions are the best. If you do that, it covers and I promise you, it covers a multitude of sins. I’ve been married guys for fucking 10 plus years and I will tell you that when you give up trying to divide your household – nitpicking bullshit. Guys, I’m talking to you. Ladies, I’m talking to you. Nitpicking is a fucking leaky faucet. It’s a leaky roof. It’s fucking despicable. Stop nitpicking at each other. It doesn’t matter in the big scheme of things. Stop nitpicking. Stop looking for opportunities to correct. Stop looking for ways to show them “hey, I told you so.”
Assume the best. It will fundamentally change your relationship. It will fundamentally change your marriage. I promise you. Because it stems over time a discipline to assume the best in your spouse. What happens is you start forgiving, you start loving on their inadequacies, their failures as a person, their character flaws. You see them for who they truly are and I hope that over time, you will realize that you are exactly the same. You are flawed. You’re fucked up. You got issues. You have idiosyncrasies. You got neuroses. You’ve got issues psychologically. You fucked up as a child. Your parents fucked you. You’ve self-esteem issues.
You is just a man, you is just a woman, a hunk of flesh meat like everybody else who’s trying to struggle through this world. Trust me, there’s enough pain in relationships alone to start bringing in more division, more nonsense. Lord Jesus, please save us from ourselves.
Try to think the best. Assume the best. Come into the situation assuming the best. It’ll fundamentally change your attitude. It’ll fundamentally change the way that you talk. It’ll fundamentally change your behavior patterns and fundamentally change your communication patterns because you will shut the up. You will be patient. You will listen. You’ll seek to understand and not to divide.
I guarantee you, please, if you can remember this in the next conversation that you have where you have the opportunity to destroy or build up, I hope that you remember to unify and either shut the fuck up. That’s probably the best thing to do. Just shut the fuck up and don’t say anything, which is what I’ve been telling my daughter these days. Just shut up. Don’t say anything. You don’t need had any. No one cares about your opinion. Frankly, they’re not going to take it anyway.
When you have a focus on unity, when you have a focus and you try to think and assume the best in the other individuals, the past failures of the world, the past failures of their person, the past failures that they have failed you on will disappear. Gone. Poof! It’s gone. At the end of the day, what does unity leave room for?
Healing to take place. The only way that many of us out there and trust me, someone sent me a message the other day. Peter, you talk a lot about healing. Obviously, I talked a lot about healing because I am aware enough to know that the world is bleeding. People are bleeding. People are hurt. People are fucked up. They’re fragile. They’re fractured. They’re messed up. Life has taken its toll on man. Life has taken its toll on women of this world.
The world is divided. The world is being destroyed before our very eyes by people who understand this and are intentionally trying to ensure that you and I are always divided. We’re always fighting. We’re always at each other’s necks. These people, these evil empires, they know this.
This is why I talk about healing. This is why I talk about unity. So that we, as people, you as a person, I don’t care about anybody else. Only you if you’re listening. I want you to heal. I want you to have wholeness. Don’t go to bed mad. Don’t go to bed mad. Heal. Be unified. Assume the best in others. Don’t spend a lot of time watching mainstream media. Seek to unify, not divide. Seek to have humility. Seek to have patience. Seek peace.
My question for you guys today at the end of all this. Where do you need peace? Where do you need to seek out unification maybe even forgiveness so that you can heal?
This is Peter, The Bitcoin Lambo. If you enjoyed this episode, feel free to share, smash the like button, and let people know that we are on Google Play and we are on podcasts on iTunes and all sorts of stuff. Guys, I’ll see you on behind-the-scenes on YEN.io.