"Where do you find the strength when nobody believes in you?" - 044
Peter Saddington addresses the struggle of maintaining strength and motivation when facing disbelief from family and peers, particularly regarding entrepreneurial pursuits. He frames the discussion around the conflict between personal dreams and external pressures, especially societal and familial expectations. Saddington emphasizes personal responsibility, stating individuals are accountable for their current circumstances. He shares his experience of defying social norms in a professional setting, arguing that adherence to such norms leads to conformity and mediocrity. The discussion touches on establishing boundaries, with Saddington describing his "three rings of influence," where even family falls into a broader sphere outside his core circle, highlighting the importance of prioritizing personal conviction over external validation.
Full Transcript (2608 words)
That's the hardest thing to do in life. Now, here's the context, and this is why this bad advice, at least to me, makes sense. It's because it says, where do you find the strength to keep going when those around you family included don't believe in you and just want you to quit? The context to me is that you don't want to quit. I've built many startups, most of them are failed, so Bitcoin is exactly the place that I like to be. We're going to end it right there. What's up? Welcome, guys, to the inaugural first episode of Bad Advice with me, Peter, the Bitcoin Lambo. This is a new segment that I have been wanting to do for a long while, and actually I had opportunities to do this pre-Sunday sermon and other things like that. But this is something that I really wanted to
begin with my new behind-the-scenes group that you can find link below. I wanted to be able to give back in a deeper way. I wanted to give back in a closer way to people who are part of the behind-the-scenes and are really interacting with us and helping other people improve. You can find that link below. It's called the Bitcoin Lambo Podcast. Things you didn't learn in school community group on yen.io. Find the link below and you can join the benefits of joining is that you get to get these videos sooner, faster. These are going to be unlisted and given out to the behind-the-scenes group probably a week or maybe even two weeks in advance to public launch. That's the benefits of being part of the community, plus other stuff as well. Let's just jump right in because I don't really know exactly how this format
is supposed to go. Who the hell really knows. What I wanted to do is I just wanted to give off the cuff just advice to someone who is asking for it. The title is bad advice. You have to come into this with a heart of that you're probably going to get really bad advice from someone who is completely has no idea about your context whatsoever. I'm just shooting from the hip based on what I would do and based on my context, personality, drivers, internal incentives. I can't even say it and things that internally motivate me. This is just coming from my heart straight to you guys. I want to thank Chris Anderson for being part of our Bitcoin Lambo podcast yen.io community. You asked the first question and your question was this. Thanks Chris. He says, where do I find the strength to keep going?
Where do I find the strength to keep going when those around you, family included, don't believe in you and want you to quit? Fuck. That is a rough, rough place to be. We as men live in a constant state of tension. There's madness with us, isn't there? Isn't it maddening the life of man? I mean, as I think about the life of man and the tension between dreams, desires, goals, and responsibilities. This is a tension that is so deeply ingrained and felt in men. I don't know anything about women, so I'm just talking about men here. So deeply ingrained with men, at least the men that I've been able to talk to and communicate to about this tension. It's just something that for some men is just so, it can be heartbreaking. It can be so crushing the tension between my dreams and my goals
dreams, desires, goals, and responsibilities. This is a tension that is so deeply ingrained and felt in men. I don't know anything about women, so I'm just talking about men here. So deeply ingrained with men, at least the men that I've been able to talk to and communicate to about this tension. It's just something that for some men is just so, it can be heartbreaking. It can be so crushing the tension between my dreams and my goals and personal fucking responsibility. Let's talk about it. You see, when it comes to dreams and goals, these things are things that you manifest in yourself. These are things that you have been conjured up in your spirit, in your soul, in your brain, or they were programmed into you by some sort of television program or some human or some adult figure or authority figure. There's a reason why
you have dreams and goals as a man. And there's a reason why they're also shattered and destroyed. In many ways, men cannot figure out how to balance dreams, aspirations, goals, and personal responsibility. So let's talk about this side. You guys know I'm a huge fan of personal responsibility. You are where you are because it's your fault. Let me say that again. You are here where you are because it's your fault. No one else is. Oh, someone did something to you. Oh, I've had gut bleeding, gut wrenching, so crushing experiences too. Of betrayal, of terrible things. I've been there. So of you. But I'm not whining about it. I'm not complaining about it. I'm taking full responsibility for my life. I am here because of me. Yeah, shit happened. But I'm here because of me. Now, I think we can all hopefully agree with that. But
the second part, the tension is that there's a personal responsibility that society, that's social norms, social constructs, family, culture plays on a man as well. You see, society and culture, what they have is there's these norms that are often portrayed in Hollywood or portrayed in shows or portrayed in any type of mass media where it is usual that a man does X. It is usual that a man does Y. It is usual for a woman to do Z. It's usual. These are the norms of complacency. These are the norms of average and weak minds in my opinion. Because if you do what everyone else does, you're going to end up where everyone else is. That's as easy as it is. If you do what everyone else does, you're going to end up where everyone else is. That's how it works. The thing that I have
clearly I used to wrestle with, but I don't wrestle with it as much clearly, is the societal pressures, the worldly assumptions, the worldly perceptions, the worldly norms that are placed on me. I was just in an office the other day, and one of my friends who is an investment baker invited me down to this office in Buckhead. I went down there and I was wearing something exactly like this. Shorts and I got my Nike's, my Air Force ones, I got a T-shirt on and I smell a little bit because I've been in the garage all day. I don't think I'd take a shower that day. I'm sitting there with a suit, a suit, and a suit. Don't care. Those social norms don't affect me. They don't mean nothing to me. You know why? Because they wanted to invest in me. And I was the one
like this. Shorts and I got my Nike's, my Air Force ones, I got a T-shirt on and I smell a little bit because I've been in the garage all day. I don't think I'd take a shower that day. I'm sitting there with a suit, a suit, and a suit. Don't care. Those social norms don't affect me. They don't mean nothing to me. You know why? Because they wanted to invest in me. And I was the one that looked like shit and smelled like shit. You see, I don't prescribe to the social norms. I don't prescribe to social pressures, cultural pressures, familial pressures, get over that shit, get over that shit. I will tell you guys and it sounds harsh, but I'll tell you Chris, when it comes to family, I put family in the same ring. The same ring of influence as everybody else. You
know what? You want to know my three rings of influence. It's really simple. There's the core. There's the core, which is me, my wife, and my two kids, and the bunny. And the bunny. So that's the core, right? Me, my wife, the two kids, and the fucking bunny. That'll never change. That'll never change. This is the core. Then there's the second ring, okay? The second ring. The second ring is you've been able to come into my house. You've been in my home. It's like less than 10. It's not a whole lot of people there. And then there's a third ring where most everyone else is. And there's little tears to it, but it doesn't really matter. The third ring is pretty much where everyone else is. Family included. You see, the problem is with having this tension between goals and societal and family pressures. It
can destroy you. It can completely destroy you. Right? And you ask me in this question here, where do I find the strength? Let me answer that. You already have this strength. You ask the question, where do I find the strength to keep going when those around you family included? Don't believe in you want you to quit. You already have the strength. You just have to have a reason for using it. Everyone has the strength. Everyone has the strength to persevere. Everyone has the strength to persevere. You just haven't had to use that strength towards a goal, a worthy goal, or been in a position where it is required of you, like war. You know what the thing about war is? War turns ordinary men into extraordinary men. That's what war does. Because what war does is it creates a situation that could never have been
controlled or forced or moved towards by someone in their own right mind. No person in their right mind would be running into a battlefield with a chance of bullets flying, bombs overhead. No one willingly wants to do that unless they've been put in a position because they signed up or they're conscripted, etc. I don't want to get into that. The point is that war makes ordinary men extraordinary. Then they go back to Kansas. Then they go back to Idaho. They go back to Georgia. They go back to Louisiana. They go back to Texas. After the war is over and they're just regular men again. So you already have the strength. You already have the strength to persevere. So let's get to it. The tension is this. Goals and dreams. Social pressures and personal responsibility. You know what the hardest thing to do in life? The
extraordinary. Then they go back to Kansas. Then they go back to Idaho. They go back to Georgia. They go back to Louisiana. They go back to Texas. After the war is over and they're just regular men again. So you already have the strength. You already have the strength to persevere. So let's get to it. The tension is this. Goals and dreams. Social pressures and personal responsibility. You know what the hardest thing to do in life? The hardest thing to do in life is to be yourself. It's to be yourself. And that's why I will say in today's bad advice that being yourself and striving for your goals and dreams is far more important than this other side. Because in being yourself, because being yourself means you have goals, you have visions that you have conjured up. Being yourself, and I'm just pulling from me here,
is that the bad advice is that I have goals and visions. Maybe just like, I have unrealities that I create in my mind. Things that I want to do, places I want to be, people I want to meet with, creations I want to build. These are things that can only be conjured up. It can only emerge in my heart, my soul, my brain. And to pursue those. No one else could ever conjure up those things. No one else is ever going to have that vision, that goal that you're going to have. You're the only one in this time and space that can achieve that goal because it came from you. And that's from yourself. So to be true to yourself and be yourself. That's the hardest thing to do in life. Now, here's the context. And this is why this bad advice, at least to
me, makes sense. It's because it says, where do you find the strength to keep going when those around you, family included, don't believe in you and just want you to quit? The context to me is that you don't want to quit because you believe so strongly in this. And I would assume, my assertion would be, is that if you are able to grind and persevere on this goal, this dream, this hustle, this vision, this unreality that you have, then there will be value that is given to your family financially. A future that you can open up opportunities that your kids would never have because you have, because you're being able to grind out and be able to achieve those opportunities from, like, like, there's a multiplicity of things. So I have to come into this context, assuming that you want to do your family right.
Fuck society, just your family. Remember, that's the core. The core is only if it matters anyway. That you want to do your family right. But they like society. Believe that you should quit. Today's bad advice. Be yourself. Do the hardest thing. Become an extraordinary person. By doing what you have in mind and achieving that goal, believing that you can do it, and working harder than anyone else to do it. Don't believe, please. Don't believe that you're going to be able to achieve your dreams, Chris Anderson. If you're not willing to work harder than anyone else that you know, all right. That's the undersigned. The fine print is that you have to work harder than everyone else that you know to achieve it. So I guess that's the qualifier for today's bad advice. Go and be your fucking self. But if you're not willing to work
to do it. Don't believe, please. Don't believe that you're going to be able to achieve your dreams, Chris Anderson. If you're not willing to work harder than anyone else that you know, all right. That's the undersigned. The fine print is that you have to work harder than everyone else that you know to achieve it. So I guess that's the qualifier for today's bad advice. Go and be your fucking self. But if you're not willing to work harder than everyone else to do it, then maybe you should quit. That's it, guys. That's the end. Chris, I hope this was somewhat helpful. If it wasn't, you know what? It's just today's bad advice. And you know what? I'm going to give out a lot of bad advice. If you'd like to ask me questions so that I can give you a bad advice, make sure that you
check out the links below in the show notes and in the first comment. And you can join the Bitcoin Lambo podcast. Things you don't learn in school or you didn't learn in school behind the scenes, Yen.io community. I'll see you guys there. That was bad. It was a bad advice. I think it was probably bad.
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About the Creator
This video is part of a library of 780+ episodes published by Peter Saddington on staas.fund. Peter is a serial entrepreneur, venture capitalist (StaaS Fund, RegD 506B), and AI practitioner who has trained 17,000+ professionals in agile and AI methodologies. He bought Bitcoin at $2.52 in 2011, built 4 autonomous AI agents (the Council of Dogelord), and operates 10+ websites with zero employees. His AI Workshop has been attended by Fortune 500 teams, and his newsletter "The Agile VC" reaches thousands of subscribers weekly. Peter holds 3 Master's degrees (Divinity, Computer Science, Computational Operations Research) from institutions including Georgia Tech.