Operate from Your Highest Values to Truly Live! | What are your highest values? - 056

All I know is I can tell you one reason why some of the relationships didn't even start in my past when I was in the dating world and college rule and post college rule these types of things is because I just wouldn't shut the fuck up. I've built many startups, most of them the fail. And so Bitcoin is exactly the place that I like to be. We're gonna end it right there. What's up guys? I want to talk with you about values. I want to talk with you about values today. The question I want to ask you is simply this. What are your highest values? Do you know them? Do you know what your highest values in life are? Are you? Here's another question. There's a question that I'm constantly challenging myself with by the way. And all of this obviously is introspective in many

ways. But do you know that if you're operating against your highest values? You see as it began looking into this as you guys well know I love to research. I love to read and so I jumped into the internet and I wanted to make sure that I understand what values really meant from us so we can create a foundational basis, foundational base for our thinking today. And I looked it up I typed in define values and I came up with the definition of value. And what value is is one's judgment on what's important in life. One's judgment on what's important in life. Values therefore in many ways influence our behavior and attitude as to how we see the world and what we do in the world. And so these values these these deep seated worldviews these deep seated principles these values guide our thinking are

doing in the world today. And what I've found and this is I don't know if this relates to you guys but what I have found that over time especially in the busyness of life the busyness of the world the busyness of everyday things the happenings of life the routines of life and obviously work as well. Sometimes I forget actually not sometimes I will forget and that's just due to the attrition. The attrition of not thinking about it and not making and not making sure maybe I could even say it this way not being disciplined enough mentally strong enough to remind myself of what my highest values are. Number one and number two am I operating from my highest values. So the question imminently came to me and I was thinking about this and writing this down is what happens if you don't know your values

or what happens if you can't communicate your values effectively well that's not too hard we can figure out your values pretty quickly. Your behavior your behavior what you do see what you think about is in many ways in consequential unless you in your head all the time and you move yourself in some sort of mental prison which I hope none of you guys are in but it's the behavior that really reveals your values thinking doesn't reveal your values just look like a stump on a log when you're thinking or at least I do right but it's behaviors the outward the outward actions that define or rather reveal what you value and one of the best things that I love doing and one of the things I enjoy doing especially as a consultant and watching executives and leaders and companies and watching teams is I extrapolate

the behavior that really reveals your values thinking doesn't reveal your values just look like a stump on a log when you're thinking or at least I do right but it's behaviors the outward the outward actions that define or rather reveal what you value and one of the best things that I love doing and one of the things I enjoy doing especially as a consultant and watching executives and leaders and companies and watching teams is I extrapolate people I extrapolate their behavior and it allows me to to look in and say why are they behaving in this way? Why are they acting this way especially in confrontations especially in conflict why is this person responding this way why is this person reacting this way why is this person taking this emotional approach to this particular situation? See what they do is far more powerful in revealing

than what they say it's how they respond it's how they react it's it's how they interact with people and you can quickly if you just take a moment and often many of us don't do this and I certainly don't and but if you take a moment and you take a step back and you watch an individual you watch them interact with the people you watch them behave over a period of time right you can see if you're if you're really in tune with life you can see and you can estimate and you can guess as to what values drive that particular behavior I certainly think this is important when you're in a dating aspect or any type of courtship aspect you should probably observe more than just talk I can remember many I don't know if I should go this far back but I can

remember many times in my past before I was married years before I was married in which I just talked I mean I'm talking to you guys now so that shouldn't be too far of a stretch of your imagination but I tend to talk I tend to go on if you give me an opportunity especially if you're an introvert like I am and you we have a one-on-one conversation I will divulge I will say too much I will over communicate in many cases that's just my nature that's just what I value I value communication I value connection I value these things that is that I mean the fact that I love to communicate and I love to talk and I love to connect with the people reveals a deep-seated value that I value relationships I value community I value connection with people because that's where real

life change happens life changes in habit behind a key being a keyboard warrior life happens when you step off away from the keyboard and you interact gauge interface communicate with other people and you can do that so I I messed up a lot of relationships guys I messed up a lot of relationships not because I'm I don't know what I can't I can't say anything about how I mess all I know is I can tell you one reason why some of the relationships didn't even start in my past when I was in the dating world in college rule and post college world these types of things is because I just wouldn't shut the fuck up like like there was and this is my naive a day it's my ignorance it's my immaturity what whatever you want to call it but I can tell you many

I mess all I know is I can tell you one reason why some of the relationships didn't even start in my past when I was in the dating world in college rule and post college world these types of things is because I just wouldn't shut the fuck up like like there was and this is my naive a day it's my ignorance it's my immaturity what whatever you want to call it but I can tell you many cases in which I started got went off on the first date and it was just it was the Peter show it was the hey you need to know everything about me not that you asked and I'm sure you're if we're you know and going on this first date then obviously you have some interest in hanging out with me but you know there's a saying and I don't

know if you know this saying but this is a saying that at least I've heard before and I've communicated to others is that that girl that woman can be beautiful until she opens her mouth right ain't that the truth that that someone can be absolutely gorgeous someone can be absolutely perfect on the outside until they open their mouth and you realize how ignorant they are how stupid they are how whatever they are and it completely ruins your view of them it completely creates a a a a sour taste in your mouth as you think about them as you engage with them that was me that was me guys like in my immaturity in the early dating worlds that was me I might I might look great guys on the outside I might look like a pretty good package if I do say so myself but

I tell you in my immaturity in the younger years dude when I opened up my mouth the women would be like yep I've had enough of this guy I've had enough of this guy because he won't shut the fuck up observe people being an observant person observe how they act and how they respond how they react and that will reveal their values I think if I were to take another segue into the dating world I think one of the one of the reasons why people the girls didn't go out with me on a second date is because they realized my values they realized my values my values was for me to tell them and continue to fucking talk and just and and and the Peter show make sure you know everything about me which I thought actually I was doing a good service you need

to know what you're getting into here lady woman right and so the same thing applies from the woman same thing applies to the man the man might look like a great guy might look handsome he like like a stud he might like have all the full package but until he opens his mouth then you really realize what he's all about and so these values I want to make sure that I'm and I want to make sure that you out there are operating from your highest values so and by the way values can change I don't want to I want to make sure that I wrote this down I want to make sure this is clear values can change I know that my values have changed over many times and over many years you guys might have heard me before say this in other podcasts but

make sure that I'm and I want to make sure that you out there are operating from your highest values so and by the way values can change I don't want to I want to make sure that I wrote this down I want to make sure this is clear values can change I know that my values have changed over many times and over many years you guys might have heard me before say this in other podcasts but this is something that is fundamentally true to I to who I am I have strong opinions weekly held let me repeat that I have strong opinions weekly held which means I will fight tooth and nail for that idea and but I am also and I hope that I matured enough to be willing to be open to be persuaded differently but values can change as well as well

as opinions even if they're strongly held even if these values are strongly out and you say well how does that happen while I wrote down two ways by number one what you decide to do what you decide to do in life can change and refocus your values to a different value like a job a job decision how many of you guys I can think of many different jobs that I've taken that have stressed my values stressed my principles stretched my worldviews without a career decision maybe bad the wrong career decision changes your values on life it changes your perspective on the world what about marriage if you decide to get married guess what you're you certainly have a new value it's family now Succa exactly right what about children children change your values it changes your values hopefully many ways it opens up a space

in your heart for besides yourself and besides your spouse it opens a space in your heart that you never knew was there and you never knew that you had the capacity to have that space now is filled with a new value the value of making sure your kids get the fuck out of there 18 years guys 18 years that's what you got to do right you need to survive I sometimes I joke with my wife I say some man off if we can get them past 18 years old that I have succeeded as a father I have succeeded as a family man but values can also change by circumstance right things that have been thrust upon you like life situations in life death the unexpected situations accidents and I had to write this one down trauma trauma is a great way to change your values

or read a line you with your highest values I don't mind admitting this and I think it's important for me to say because I'm human like everyone else I have had a serious in my past only one but I have had a serious mental breakdown a serious physical breakdown and I say breakdown I mean the whole body has been broken down I was hospitalized I was hospitalized and the reason is and I can tell you plainly is because you cannot work 20 hour days forever you cannot work 20 hour days forever this breakdown this full body mental physiological psychological spiritual this full breakdown was because I had lost sight of my higher values and I did not operate for my higher values and the reason I was reminded of this is because I got a text day and this took me a long time to

and the reason is and I can tell you plainly is because you cannot work 20 hour days forever you cannot work 20 hour days forever this breakdown this full body mental physiological psychological spiritual this full breakdown was because I had lost sight of my higher values and I did not operate for my higher values and the reason I was reminded of this is because I got a text day and this took me a long time to get to the impetus of why I'm talking about this today is because I got a text from a friend who was talking about ensuring that he is reminded of his highest values and this is what he said I had given him some context I said hey I've had situations like this similarly where I needed to get back aligned to my own core values my core principles my

highest values and he said man I've been there too I and I had similar versions of what happened to you to me and he said I knew what it was immediately I knew what I was trying to chase wasn't what I wanted it's what I thought I wanted so once I realigned and put my new family first so in his context is he's got a new family new baby I started working less and earning more your mind and body will always tell you what you need and you don't need and I truly believe that let me say that again your mind and your body will always tell you what you need and what you don't need and I truly believe that he says it may not be in the cards for me to do x y and z but I'm fine with that because I

need to get back to my higher principles I loved the way he said that I loved the way he said that at the end of it he said man love you man and thanks so much see that's why I'm talking about this and that's why we're all these notes down today because I received a life giving text for a friend then we were just chiquitid chatting about what's going on in life and how he needed to get realigned and it remind me that man I too do not need to have trauma I do not need to have a mental breakdown a physical breakdown a circumstance outside of my control to bring me back we have the rational capability the cognitive capability you and I listen out there on iTunes you and I have the ability to control it to bring ourselves back to highest priorities

and not lose our lives because we have forgotten to operate from our highest values a breakdown in life I wrote this down a breakdown in life can happen when you're not operating by your highest values that's the point please don't miss this you will have breakdowns in life you will have breakdowns mentally physically spiritually when you're not operating from your highest values over a long period of time we need to return to the present I find out so many people there there's one of the reasons why they forget over time to operate from the highest values is that either living in the past or they're anxious and nervous or worried about the future that let that sink in is that not and I'm sure there are other reasons for why your values can can can be misaligned over time but I find that these two

time we need to return to the present I find out so many people there there's one of the reasons why they forget over time to operate from the highest values is that either living in the past or they're anxious and nervous or worried about the future that let that sink in is that not and I'm sure there are other reasons for why your values can can can be misaligned over time but I find that these two are very powerful and I'm sure that you can think about it right when you live too much in the past go back to one of my podcasts of of making sure that you go back to one of my podcasts talking about not letting your past hold your present in future prisoner and likewise those who are too anxious to worry about the future they're not allowed to live

in the present being present is exactly that being there being fully engaged with the now because the past is gone it's a funeral it's the paper it's no longer existing it's merely it's not it's period no longer existing the future doesn't exist because it ain't happened yet in this linear time that we are stuck in if we were going in the matrix maybe there's multiple times but I don't know of the matrix and all I know is a linear time and I don't not know what the future holds it is not worth worrying about one Iota return to the present low values operating from lower values operating from lower values are destructive in nature I wrote this down it's so powerful low values are destructive in nature they create the breakdown I'll give you an example that I've had that I've struggled with and I

know that other friends have struggled with is that when you get into a business and it's going well there is a natural inclination maybe you're stronger than I maybe not doesn't matter but there have been issues the projects in the past when those projects have been doing so well that I get wrapped up in the money I get wrapped up in the money and when the money is good the money is coming in it's all it's brand new money it's exciting it wraps you up and you begin to make compromise this I'll be it so small you cut corners you want to keep that juju going but now you're sacrificing your higher values you're sacrificing your higher principles to keep that good feeling going but that what's is what creates the breakdown it creates it creates the breakdown and and these these lower values are

often emotionally based which is terrible I've said this many times we all know then we make our best decisions when we're highly emotional right obviously not emotional emotion based decision making is the worst way to go and when you're trying to enjoy the juju when you're trying to keep things going often you will base your decisions your behavior on that feeling on that emotion to keep it going this is problem this is one of the problems of the addict I would know I was a smoker it took me years over a decade to quit smoking guys the feeling of it going into the mouth going into the lungs the feeling of it exiting the lungs this addiction this feeling right this was a I was smoking for me and I don't know about you but I'll just talk about me but smoking for me was

going this is problem this is one of the problems of the addict I would know I was a smoker it took me years over a decade to quit smoking guys the feeling of it going into the mouth going into the lungs the feeling of it exiting the lungs this addiction this feeling right this was a I was smoking for me and I don't know about you but I'll just talk about me but smoking for me was acting from a lower value system I did not value my body the fuck is wrong with me I did not value my body high enough to finally give it up and and and decade over a decade guys it took me to realign myself to higher value and I'll tell you it was one of the best decisions I've ever made to stop injecting myself with poison it's emotional

based it's feeling based these lower values that we operate from and often they become uncontrollable due to the fact that this negative behavior of feelings gets ingrained into it gets ingrained into our into our routines right so when you're operating from lower values they're destructive in nature that's just the what they are we're not meant as humans we're not meant as spiritual creatures to operate from lower values it creates the breakdown it's emotional based and it's uncontrollable because we love the feeling but the feeling is what destroys us in the end higher values operating from higher values or understanding higher values or it's obviously the opposite higher operating from higher values builds up it's constructive it's life giving you guys know that you guys have heard me say this before another podcast I love this term life giving higher values operating from higher values are

life giving to everyone everyone wins you win I win your neighbors win your colleagues win your friends win everyone wins because you're like you're giving life all the time you're operating from these higher values and these higher values are controllable because you can decide you can always decide to operate from your higher value because you're taking responsibility so what is living by your highest values allows well I wrote a couple things now it gives life to everyone it's a win-win life is great you're content this is one of the things that I was talking about with with this guy on text message here and I said I've noticed that you're more contented you're more content with life what's going on actually that was the impetus as to why he started sharing with me because I inquired I said hey your communication how you're talking to

me what I'm seeing it seems like you're contented you're contented with let me can I just scroll up I let me see what I said I said man so glad to hear that I've noticed your difference in communication over time that I've known you seems like you're really contented in where you are that's a great key to life just being able to be content where you are maybe still hungry for more in terms of job but allowing yourself to be present in day time and now sometimes I can be and I was telling them sometimes I can be too forward thinking and not enjoying the present you seem to have that down is how I started and he said thanks man funny you say that because then then he went into it I noticed it it was noticeable in this guy because he began operating

maybe still hungry for more in terms of job but allowing yourself to be present in day time and now sometimes I can be and I was telling them sometimes I can be too forward thinking and not enjoying the present you seem to have that down is how I started and he said thanks man funny you say that because then then he went into it I noticed it it was noticeable in this guy because he began operating from his highest values and that's why I'm talking about it to you guys now because he's given life to me now we've had a great conversation and now that life is giving life to you guys so thank this motherfucker for being transparent and being open and honest living by highest values it makes for a grateful life it makes you to be kind it allows you to be

loving and accepting of people forgiving I've talked a lot about that thing it allows you to be patient more patient with people more patient with life and allows you to be aware and in control of your emotions and if you want more information on that go back to my podcast around controlling your emotions being master of your own emotions living by your highest values allows work to be fulfilling interesting fulfilling and maybe even bearable at times doable and achievable living by your highest values allows you to have life in every aspect of what you do so how do you know your highest values well you got to research yourself so this is where you might have been saying throughout this entire stream here you might have been saying well Peter how do I know your highest might well research yourself that's not hard what do

you spend time on what are your time bandits where do you fill your time up what do you focus on what do you think about what do you do what do you enjoy do what are you learning write all of these things down when you write all these things down and you take stock of your day I would extend it even to a month a week till a month see if you can write it down over a week one of my investing my time and what am I spending money on maybe that will reveal my values where what am I communicating what what what do I do I was in my closing what where where where am I where am I got my blinders on right this type of personal introspection can give you not the answers but it could reveal to you where you

might be operating from lower values emotional values just filling in the gap values that are maybe slowly breaking you down and in some ways reducing your ability to control your life I know some people that have struggled with anger in the past I've generally not ever been angry person I could maybe tell that story some other time in the future but I've known people I've known people that have struggled with anger and I'll tell you it is uncontrollable when they get angry they've allowed themselves to work from lower values they have allowed themselves to lose control in moments when they could certainly be in control and one of the scariest things and I hope this brings true to some of you guys out there listening today on iTunes or Android or Google Play or whatever I hope you're listening you can have a hundred percent

that have struggled with anger and I'll tell you it is uncontrollable when they get angry they've allowed themselves to work from lower values they have allowed themselves to lose control in moments when they could certainly be in control and one of the scariest things and I hope this brings true to some of you guys out there listening today on iTunes or Android or Google Play or whatever I hope you're listening you can have a hundred percent track record with people being nice courteous considerate you can have a hundred percent track record for a decade ten years you can have a great track record of being patient kind of loving in that eleventh year you lose it you lose it you become uncontrollably angry upset or something like this you just fucked yourself it's one of the most unfaithier realities now you might disagree with me

here and leave let me know in the comments if you disagree but I am I have a strong opinion strongly held okay this is a strong opinion strongly held you know that opinion is the one the most unfaithier things in the world is your consistency of kindness means nothing if you can't control your anger it all it takes all it takes you could be kind for 20 years and in that one moment of blow up when you lose it all when you're uncontrollably angry that 20 years becomes paper it's one of the most unfair realities of relationships in the world that you could work and you could be so consistent in your in your kindness in your consideration in your niceness and that one moment that you have an uncontrolled blow up of anger all those years go away like that they're gone because because

anger and especially uncontrollable anger it's so deeply hurtful and so deeply scarring to yourself and to the individual taking the brunt of that anger that that scar of uncontrolled anger and outburst over takes 20 years I know I know and I don't I don't hope that you never experience that I hope you never experience it to know your highest values how do you spend your time what do you focus on what do you think about what do you enjoy doing what do you enjoy learning what's your time bandits and if they're negative then it's time to consider different behaviors it's time to consider going back to your highest values where do you want to be what do you want to do what is what where is where is the real kindness loving forgiving accepting a patient individual that's in there that gives that wants to

give life that's the if I can if I can lean on one one corner one crux of this argument it would be what about you love's giving life what about you love it getting life that is a great hallmark it's a great abikin of where your highest values are where what gives you life what gives you life and what gives other people life that's what we need to revisit so guys I want to remind you and mostly myself today about operating for your highest values and making sure that you're not operating from your lower values which are emotional uncontrollable and destructive in nature what type of introspection and retrospection about your behaviors and your life do you need to consider today this is Peter with a corner there though if you appreciated this episode guys make sure you smash the like button share and let

to revisit so guys I want to remind you and mostly myself today about operating for your highest values and making sure that you're not operating from your lower values which are emotional uncontrollable and destructive in nature what type of introspection and retrospection about your behaviors and your life do you need to consider today this is Peter with a corner there though if you appreciated this episode guys make sure you smash the like button share and let people know about this podcast thanks guys have a great one