5 REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD GET A MENTOR! - Character Boosting! Life Grinding! - 060

I can bleed no more trust out of this guy. I have 110% trust that everything that he says is aligned to the lifestyle that he has chosen and the disciplines that he has chosen. There's no bullshit here with my mentor. He's allowed me in to see that he's more than just a mouthpiece. He's a man who models the advice that he gives me. I've built many startups, most of them are failed. So Bitcoin is exactly the place that I like to be. We're going to end it right there. Well, I've talked about it before and finally, I'm going to be getting into it. Let's talk about why you should get a mentor. Why you should get a mentor? Well, it's easy for me to talk about this because yesterday, I had the awesome opportunity to meet up with my mentor. He flew in from Colorado

to hang out with me and just talk shop. Now, obviously, he has other reasons for being in the Atlanta area, mainly work, but it gave him an awesome opportunity to connect with me and me to connect with him and just catch up. It was awesome. I love hanging out with him. He's just such a man whose full of life, full of experience, full of empathy, it's crucial, crucial. Full of empathy, full of sympathy, and man, I tell you, he's just the best. So let me give you a little bit of context around why this mentor means so much to me and why this has been something that has... In so many ways has improved my life. Long story short, this is a mentor who actually kind of pursued me if I can say it this way. I was a successful consultant, built my own consultancy

here in Atlanta up to 19 employees and I was crushing it. I was crushing it. But one of the problems that I found, and this is certainly something that I wasn't new to, but as I begin new projects and as they become successful, one of the things is that as they scale, especially in the consultancy, I ended up doing less and less and less of what I really enjoyed doing, which was being with clients, being with individuals, being with teams, being with executives and leaders, and actually helping them improve their software development, and as well as improve their organizational efficiency. And so as we scaled one of the biggest problems was I was doing more HR, human resources, more sales, more putting out fires, more administrative, you know, healthcare, benefits, payroll, I was doing all of this. And what eventually emerged was that I rarely

spent time on client sites. Most of the time I ended up just putting out fires or flying out last minute to calm a client or to make sure that everything was going well. And everything that I loved about being a consultant, an agile consultant, software development consultant, everything that I loved about building this business became the bane of my existence. I hated it. It was terrible. And so during this time, this mentor of mine had helped me in great ways, big ways of helping me set up my consultancy, grow my marketing, give me his experience, his knowledge as to how to grow a consultancy, and eventually, long story short, eventually acquired me. He was, he just, he, there was obviously strategic reasons because he was out in the Midwest. They already had a West Coast contingency, and they needed an East Coast contingency. And me

so during this time, this mentor of mine had helped me in great ways, big ways of helping me set up my consultancy, grow my marketing, give me his experience, his knowledge as to how to grow a consultancy, and eventually, long story short, eventually acquired me. He was, he just, he, there was obviously strategic reasons because he was out in the Midwest. They already had a West Coast contingency, and they needed an East Coast contingency. And me with all of my network and client network here, it was just a good strategic move. But in many ways, he had saved my life. He said, Peter, we'll take on all the administration, we'll take on all the administrative, we'll take all the human resources aspects, the sales aspects, and you just get to go out and do your best work. And so this was my second acquisition of

my, of my life. And it was great. It came under his umbrella, came under his processes, came under his company, and I ended up helping, I was a fourth in their company. And I've scaling, helping scale them out to over 10 people, over a two year period time. But throughout all of this, my mentor and I, we continued to, obviously, I was working for him. But more than just working with him and having company meetings and all the company retreats and all the company, you know, conferences and all this stuff, my mentor and I continued to meet consistently, consistently, consistently, and talk about life. And this man, this individual had invested so much of his life into me that there's no way, period. There's no way that I could be where I am today without my mentor. I'll tell you the TLDR as to why

you should get one. Period. Here it is, listen closely. The number one reason why you should get a mentor is it is the fastest way, period. Fastest way to accelerate your growth in anything, whether it be life, whether it be work, whether it be just health, a mentor will help accelerate your growth in any of those areas. Now what really, my mentor really, for me, was the top two, life and work. Always asking me great questions about how life is going. And my mentor cares more about the work that I do. This is my mentor cares more about who I am and the man that I'm becoming, the man that I want to be. You see, having a mentor like this who is in your corner in every aspect, they will accelerate your growth. That's the key I want you to remember. They'll accelerate your

growth. And whatever goals, strategies, tactics that you have in life or work or health, they will help you get there faster. And so I've written down a lot of ideas here as to why mentors are so powerful. And I want to go through each of these six or five or six or so and really give you a larger and broader perspective as to why having a mentor is so, so important, especially if you're trying to level up and improve your life. The first thing that I wrote down here is that a mentor provides knowledge and experience. That makes a ton of sense. They have gone before you. When it comes to choosing a mentor, I highly suggest that you choose a mentor who's already been where you want to be. They've already gone through the experience. They've all gone through the trials. They've gone through

is so, so important, especially if you're trying to level up and improve your life. The first thing that I wrote down here is that a mentor provides knowledge and experience. That makes a ton of sense. They have gone before you. When it comes to choosing a mentor, I highly suggest that you choose a mentor who's already been where you want to be. They've already gone through the experience. They've all gone through the trials. They've gone through the tribulations. They've gone through the hurt and they can accelerate you in your life and your work and your effort beyond that. They can say, hey, hey, there's some pitfalls here. Hey, hey, there's some traps here. Hey, you're talking about this. Maybe we need to reconsider it. And so what a great mentor does is provides knowledge and experience of how they've done it. Not to push it

on you. Not to say that you have to do your, you know, your work or your life the same way that they're doing it. But what great mentors do is they ask you questions about what you're doing and say, hey, is does that make sense? Should we rethink it this way? Should we look at it from this particular vantage point and provide that knowledge and that experience that you could, that you will have eventually garnered and gained over time, but they can give it to you now. And so this is really an opportunity whenever you're really sucking in and feeding off of their knowledge and experience, it's an opportunity for you to really, really, really gain, gain big time by asking lots of questions, digging into those conversations and bleeding out. What makes sense to you? Number two, they help us see what we cannot.

Man, I'll tell you, this is a huge, huge factor. And obviously a lot of the stems from knowledge and experience, but this is a really important aspect of what mentors can help you do is they can help you see what you cannot. They've traveled the road. They've seen the forks. They've made those hard decisions already. And they can help you see what's coming up in your life. At least they have assumptions about what's coming up, but they have a good perspective. They understand, hey, these are the variables. These are things that are going to hit you. And these are the things you need to be aware of. And so they can see in many ways the future. I can remember so many, it's true. They can see the future. Obviously many of you guys would say, well, no one can see the future, but man,

if you're on a similar trajectory, a similar path that they have already tread, then they have the ability of foresight. They have the ability of seeing the future because they can see like, wow, you're taking these types of steps. There's a really good chance that these types of steps and moving this direction is going to either lead to X, Y or Z. So let's talk about X, Y or Z, and which one you think would be the most appropriate decision for you to make. This is so powerful. I can't tell you a thousand different stories of how I've come up and broached these subjects with him about, hey, I'm going to be making this decision. I'm thinking about X, I'm thinking about Y, and we end up talking about what he sees as a potential outcome for that. And then we talk about this outcome.

Y or Z, and which one you think would be the most appropriate decision for you to make. This is so powerful. I can't tell you a thousand different stories of how I've come up and broached these subjects with him about, hey, I'm going to be making this decision. I'm thinking about X, I'm thinking about Y, and we end up talking about what he sees as a potential outcome for that. And then we talk about this outcome. Is this the outcome that I want? Is this the results that I want from this particular experiment or this particular decision? And it's so helpful to be able to get your arms around some of the outcomes that you didn't consider. You see, everything that we do has an outcome and everything that we do has a cost associated with it. And one of the things for me, as

a naive young entrepreneur, one of the things for me that I often forget and I often neglect is the psychological cost, the life cost to my decisions. And one of the reasons is it's very simple. It's easy for me to get super and hyper focused in my work and outcomes are nearly just merely what they are. I'm doing, I'm executing, I'm focusing on my goals, I'm continuing to crush forward, you know, outcomes, I have ideas about what I'd like to be the end result, to be the end goal of these particular decisions. And you know what, I'm the type of guy that generally says, you know what, I'll deal with them as they come. A great mentor will ask you, hey, what's the psychological cost? What's the emotional cost? What's the familial cost? You see, I'll tell you this, when I was making ridiculous amounts

of money, millions of dollars a year as a consultant, you know who suffered the most? It's my family. I did not count, and we're talking 12 years, 12 years of being a consultant building this company to 19 people. I sacrificed my family at the altar of work. That's what I did. And one of the things that my mentor, I can never thank him and actually almost every time, if you ever meet him or if I ever bring him on the show or anything, almost every single time that we meet, not almost, every single time, every single time that we meet, I thank him for changing my life. And I'll tell you one of the biggest ways that he changed my life. He helped me figure out how I could have a sustainable pace at work and make exceptional money at work, still over a million

dollars a year and still have time for my family. I did not realize, and this is so powerful, see, he helped me see what I couldn't, and he helped me see what I couldn't, I thought that I didn't have control over. He showed me that there is a way to make over a million dollars a year as a consultant and running a consulting company and have time for my family. Every time that I meet him, I thank him in some way, shape or form. Usually just saying, just thank you for changing my life and allowing me to be home more, be present with my family, be present with my kids, go eat, launch with them at school, go to their plays, go to their events. This was life changing. Number three, when it comes to getting a mentor, dude, massive, massive encouragement, massive, massive encouragement

for my family. Every time that I meet him, I thank him in some way, shape or form. Usually just saying, just thank you for changing my life and allowing me to be home more, be present with my family, be present with my kids, go eat, launch with them at school, go to their plays, go to their events. This was life changing. Number three, when it comes to getting a mentor, dude, massive, massive encouragement, massive, massive encouragement and a sounding board for your ideas. One of the greatest things that I've appreciated about having a mentor is that every time that I call him, every time that we talk or Skype or go online and do video chats, he's a constant encouragement for me. That in itself is worth more than its weight in gold. The reason is, anytime that I'm feeling down, anytime that I'm feeling

like life is oppressive and life is just beating me down, the works just too hard or there's this thing that seems insurmountable and I need a sounding board. He is always there to encourage me, give me ideas, but I don't want to focus on the idea part of this. The biggest thing that he gives is encouragement. Mentor should be someone who gives you life, who gives you light, who gives you the boost of encouragement that you knew you needed, but only they, because they spent so much time with you, know exactly which type of words to say, which type of ways to not say, which types of words to just be present and be an active listener, to be a sympathetic and empathetic and loving listener. A mature mentor knows when to shut up and to listen and when to say the right words. I

can't tell you how many times my mentor has merely said just a couple words or a very short sentence and it quelled the five, seven minutes of a tirade that I went on about my issues. You know, you guys could probably hear me saying this right on the phone or on a skeptic. I'm just like talking, talking, talking, talking, talking, talking. Here's what's going on here's what's going on. He's just listening, nodding his head, listening, nodding his head. And then I'll say, well, what do you think? And he'll say one or two words or short sentence and I'll be like, you know what? That's exactly what I needed to hear. You see great mentors are constantly encouraging, but they're not encouraging always in a ra ra, you know, you can do it type of way. They're encouraging it because they speak to your soul. They

speak directly to your person. They speak to your heart. They know what's going on contextually and they can say the right words that really have applicability to what's going on. They know the right words to pierce through the veil and help you see clearer. This type of sounding board of encouragement is, again, like I said, worth more than its weight and gold. The fourth thing that I wrote down is so, I just like so powerful. I wrote down that a mentor is a trusted advisor that can tell us the boundaries and guardrails of life and work. Let me unpack this a little bit for you guys. Being a trusted advisor is, we have to sit on this idea of trust. There's, I completely trust my mentor in every aspect. And the reason, don't miss this guys, the reason that I am fully able to trust

wrote down is so, I just like so powerful. I wrote down that a mentor is a trusted advisor that can tell us the boundaries and guardrails of life and work. Let me unpack this a little bit for you guys. Being a trusted advisor is, we have to sit on this idea of trust. There's, I completely trust my mentor in every aspect. And the reason, don't miss this guys, the reason that I am fully able to trust my mentor is because I see him, him, and his life is completely congruent with what he says to me. Let's unpack this even more. What do I mean when I say that I see his life to be completely aligned, completely congruent to what he's telling me? He, as a mentor, and this is important, as a mentor, he, mentor should invite you into their lives so that they

can show you that they're not merely just a mouthpiece telling you, you know, the mainstream versions of encouragement, the mainstream versions of solutions. Now, mentors allow you to see inside their life. See, my mentor has allowed me to see so much of his life, his family life, his relationship with his two daughters and his son, or all out of college now, and have careers. And he's been able to, and I've been able to meet them in person. He's, he's allowed me the opportunity to come over to his house, or he lives, meet his wife, see how he manages his household. Like, there is no more, I can believe no more trust out of this guy. I have 110% trust that everything that he says is aligned to the lifestyle that he has chosen and the disciplines that he has chosen. There's no bullshit here with

my mentor. He has allowed me in to see that he's more than just a mouthpiece. He's a man who models the advice that he gives me. This is so crucial. And from that, from that trust, he can, it allows him, and this is so powerful. It allows him to speak into my life and say, Terce, shit, to say potentially hurtful shit, challenging shit. So that, and, and I can take it and say, you know what, you're not just being an asshole. I know that you're, what you say is true because your life exudes, your life exemplifies that what you are telling me, and I can completely trust that what you're saying works, or at least the ideas that we're talking about have value and are valid because you have lived that life before me. One of the things that I love about having this trusted

advisor at literally at the ready at any time that I need is that he can always tell me the guardrails and the boundaries of what, what I'm doing and where not to go, what not to do help me reconsider these maybe emotional decisions as I'm frustrated on the phone talking with him on frustrated with him and you know frustrated about something in person. And I'm going through these situations that I'm dealing with with my projects or my personal life or what have you. And he's so great at saying, hey, you know, we don't guard rails are, I'll never forget this guard rails are there for a reason, right? When you're driving a mountain road, you got the guard rails, the goal is not to be as close to the guard rails possible. And the whole metaphor here is be as close to the risk as

these situations that I'm dealing with with my projects or my personal life or what have you. And he's so great at saying, hey, you know, we don't guard rails are, I'll never forget this guard rails are there for a reason, right? When you're driving a mountain road, you got the guard rails, the goal is not to be as close to the guard rails possible. And the whole metaphor here is be as close to the risk as possible, you don't need to be getting that close to the edge. But it helps me realize where creating boundaries and guard rails in life allow me to be able to work within free work with freedom and ensure that I'm not getting too close to the risky things that could that that could help me come back to to negative behavior patterns. Like I'll give you an example, it's,

it'll make it really clear. I have a tendency to go a thousand percent. I have a tendency to run a thousand miles per hour. And I think for any of you guys out there, it's probably wouldn't be hard too hard to imagine that this is true. And one of the problems with my, my hyper focus, the way that I operate, right? It's either on or it's either off, right? One of the problems is that I don't have boundaries. I don't have guard rails in my life that can ensure that my hyper focus, my going at a thousand miles per hour, doesn't leave a wake of destruction behind me. And I could tell you stories, guys. I could tell you stories of how I have destroyed relationships, destroyed opportunities, ruined things that could be good. Mirly because I got my blinders on and I'm getting way

too close to the boundaries. It is, it would be ridiculously easy for me to break the habits, the good life giving habits that I have today by getting hyper focus on a new project that has captivated my heart and captured my mind. And so if you put something in front of me where we're, you know, a new opportunity that makes absolute sense, the market dynamics makes sense, the value makes sense, the product makes sense, the service makes sense. I know in my mind's eye that I can crush this particular project, do it with excellence and make exceptional amounts of money. It is easy for me to blow away the guard rails. Blow away the boundaries and say, I'm all in. You know, fuck, you know, fuck it, everything else. You know, family, be damned. You know, friendships, be damned. You know, sleeping, be damned. Health,

be damned. I want to do this. I'm going to crush it. And everyone else is going to say everyone else that I love is going to suffer around me because I'm, I get that hyper focused. And so what great mentors do is remind you of those guarders. They're a trusted advisor to tell you not only to help you make good decisions, but also to help you make not bad, not good, to make sure that you don't make bad decisions is what I'm trying to say. And so my mentor has done this with such, such ease. And maybe it's just because he's old man, right? He's experienced. He knows how to, how to, how to reap. Well, let's put it this way. He has blown past his own boundaries. He has blown past his own guardraus and he knows the, what the collateral damage of those

not bad, not good, to make sure that you don't make bad decisions is what I'm trying to say. And so my mentor has done this with such, such ease. And maybe it's just because he's old man, right? He's experienced. He knows how to, how to, how to reap. Well, let's put it this way. He has blown past his own boundaries. He has blown past his own guardraus and he knows the, what the collateral damage of those decisions can be. And so a trusted advisor can help you understand or remind you of your boundaries in your guardraus so that you don't ruin your life so that you don't go too far so that you don't do something crazy. Right? These are the type of people that you need around in life. You need these sounding boards. You need people to help you to see what you

cannot and encourage you to continue with good discipline on the right projects, the right focus. Last but not least, this is one of my most exciting things. And then this is, this is something that should, I wrote this down last and it makes a lot of sense for me to write it last. But this is something that is, is, is so powerful. Number five is that your mentor is a network expander, a connector, a network expander or connector. This is one of the things for me, especially I particularly enjoy. And the reason is is because your mentor, my mentor has a vast network of individuals of people that I could never touch. And whenever I have issues, whenever I have questions that my mentor can't fully answer or knows that someone can answer it better, he is willing to introduce me to those individuals that

can give me a better perspective, better advice, more, more thoughtful conversation. More experience, more knowledge, they can see things that I can't see. And so what a great mentor does, man, it's so awesome. As you can leverage them, not in a bad way, but you can leverage them in a positive way to expand your network. Mentors will avail you, avail you their network. They will give it to you because they know that holding it close to their vest doesn't do them any good. Helping you, essentially helps them. Now there's some risk involved, certainly. And I think it's important that we take note of this. Like it is important to note that when your mentor extends their network to you, it is an extension of trust. They're trusting that you're not going to fuck it up. They're trusting that when they give you that network connection

and you call them or you email them, you connect with them, you're not going to make them look stupid. And here's the point that's so important here. We need to remember, they don't have to do that. They don't have to give you their network. They don't have to extend that to you. It's a risk to them. Right? They're extending their relational equity, their relational network to you and you could fuck it up. Now, so far you would have to ask my mentor this, but so far I don't think I fucked it up. So far I think I've completely utilized the network connections that he's given me to my advantage. And I've grown. I've learned from these things. And so having a mentor allows you to extend your network to expand your network into places that you never thought possible. And what's really exciting is often,

and you could fuck it up. Now, so far you would have to ask my mentor this, but so far I don't think I fucked it up. So far I think I've completely utilized the network connections that he's given me to my advantage. And I've grown. I've learned from these things. And so having a mentor allows you to extend your network to expand your network into places that you never thought possible. And what's really exciting is often, now I don't know about you guys in your lives, but in often, often these network extensions, these new people that I meet through my mentor, not only become friends, but they come people who are who want to be in my corner as well. And so they're now supporting me, helping me, giving me the right encouragement to continue on, to not quit and to crush it and to

focus and get my dreams done. Guys, I can't spend and I could spend a thousand hours easily talking about all the stories that I have garnered and all the experiences that I've had with my mentor. I could spend a thousand hours talking about it, but I'm going to tell you this guys get a mentor. Find a mentor. Find someone that you can pour into someone that's older, 10 years, 20, make it 20 years older. They have stories, they love telling stories, they love helping out. And in many cases, a lot of them are thinking about legacy. How can they pour into the next generation? They've already got theirs, they've already achieved their millions, their successes, whatever, what have you. And so for them, they're in a different stage in life. They're thinking about legacy while you're on the come up. Let me review these guys.

It is so important to find yourself a mentor. Remember, a mentor, here's the number one thing. And getting a mentor is the fastest way to accelerate your progress. In life, work, health, that pretty much covers it. What these mentors allow, what these mentors give you is they provide you knowledge and experience that you don't have yet. They've walked before you, they've gone before you, they know the game. They can help you see what you cannot and help you understand the guardrails that they have blasted through to help you ensure that you don't do that. They can encourage you, right? They can be a sounding board to help you when times are tough. They're trusted advisors. They're willing to show you their life so that their life is congruent. Their life is aligned with what they're saying. They're true. They're real. Unless but not least they

can help you connect and expand your network beyond your wildest imaginations and connect you with people because that's really what it's all about. Let's be honest, you can have a thousand great ideas, but it's other people that you need. And their insights, their expertise, their experience, their knowledge to help you grow and help you move that project to the next step. Get a mentor, guys. Find someone that you can pour into. Ask, ask, asking is always free. Ask. Say, hey, I'd love to meet up with you just an hour a month. That's actually how I started. An hour a month. Give me an hour a month. That's all I'm asking for. An hour a month. I know that you have what I need. And I see that you have achieved what I would like to achieve. Please, give me an hour a month. I just

that you can pour into. Ask, ask, asking is always free. Ask. Say, hey, I'd love to meet up with you just an hour a month. That's actually how I started. An hour a month. Give me an hour a month. That's all I'm asking for. An hour a month. I know that you have what I need. And I see that you have achieved what I would like to achieve. Please, give me an hour a month. I just want to talk with you and learn from you. Period. I promise you this might be one of the best hours of investment per month that you will ever make for your life, your life's work, and your mental, spiritual, and physical health. You guys, mentors change lives. And one of the things that I have loved is being a mentor, especially in my 12 years of consulting. I've mentored

a lot of people and helped them move to the next level of consulting. I've been a better public speaker, a better writer, a better author, a better consultant, a better business person. This has been an absolute joy for me. And I'd love to give back more. I love mentoring. It's a passion of mine. And mostly because I'm just a utilitarian of it. I just use, I'm passionate about it because I have such a successful and awesome mentor thatodus. Guys, think about your network. Think about the people that you know. Think about the individuals that are successful that have gone before you. And here's the question for today. When are you going to ask them to be your mentor? I hope you guys enjoyed this episode. Spass the like button, subscribe and share this with a friend who might need a mentor. Thanks for hanging out

with us guys. And I'll see you later. You